Rock Your Network®: Never Burn a Bridge

Nick picked up a copy of my book when I spoke to his MBA class. He wrote me an email about the action he took after reading “Rock Your Network® for Job Seekers” and his terrific result – a new dream gig!

“Wendy,

I found your book very helpful when trying to find a job that would make me happy and allow me to do something I was “into.” I went to LinkedIn and read my friend M’s profile. In her description, she said she “loved” her job. From there, I was very proactive. Instead of Facebook messaging, LinkedIn, or email, I just picked up the phone and asked M to tell me exactly what she did for a living and how she and her parents started this fundraising company.

[Editor’s note: Woo hoo! See how Nick researched online, then reached out to make that personal connection by picking up the phone and reconnecting with his friend?]

Our phone conversation lasted about a half hour, and from there, she said she’d put me in contact with a local rep. All of a sudden she called me back and had set up a ride-a-long. The ride-a-long went terrific, and from there her parents (the owners) of the company called me and flew me to Minnesota to see the operation and meet me. After two days, I went home with an offer. Within the following week, I accepted the offer…! After I accepted, they flew me in to meet the entire sales group and staff for the end-of-the-season sales meeting (4 hours) and to introduce me to the company!

It was a crazy journey getting this job, but I CAN’T wait to start. I basically just used “networking” as the sole reason I got this job. I kept in touch with an old friend that I was really close with but didn’t see often. That ended up being enough and proved you should never burn a bridge. They also liked that I sought out M, NOT asking for a job, but asking to learn about what they do. From there I acted the part, whether it be dressing for the part when they picked me up from the airport to just being very proactive throughout this process. It’s crazy like you said in your book, how many jobs come from networking, compared to online postings. I guess I just want to say thanks because your book just gave me the confidence to not be afraid to pursue something that I believed in for a career!”

YEAH! You rock Nick! Nick wanted me to share his networking story with everyone – and he’ll be in the next edition of my book, Rock Your Network®. The bold items are my edits.

Here are the exact steps Nick took to land his new gig:

1. Reviewed his LinkedIn connections and read the profiles to identify people with interesting jobs he’d like to learn more about. (Research)

2. Picked up the phone! And reconnected personally. (Reach out)

3. Asked about his friend’s career to learn more about it. He did NOT ask for a job.

4. Shared common interests. This led to the additional connection with a local sales rep.

5. Took action – went on the ride-along and, as he said, “dressed the part.” He acted as if he already had the gig.

6. Never burned a bridge. Maintained relationships.

7. Was a go-getter. Nick took action and initiative, which got him results: a NEW JOB.

Call to action: Which of Nick’s steps can you take right now? Go for it – and share your story! I’d love to have your story in the next edition of my book, like Nick. Let’s roll!

Want more networking tips? Grab a copy of Rock Your Network®.

© Wendy Terwelp | All rights reserved.

Wendy Terwelp, author of Rock Your Network®, writes, speaks, and coaches on career management, networking, social media, and personal branding. Need a speaker for your association, company, or private coaching to rock your career? Let’s talk!

We Are the Stories We Sell Ourselves

By Wendy Terwelp, Author, Speaker, Executive Coach

“Who are we but the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves, and believe?” —Scott Turow, “Ordinary Heroes.”

In fact, we sell ourselves on these stories, even when they are not true, are outdated, unfounded, and easily rewritten. And these negative stories can be tremendously detrimental to our careers.

What do these stories sound like?

I’m too… busy, overqualified, under-qualified, old, young, shy, ashamed I lost my job…

I can’t because… it’s not the right time, I’m not ready, I won’t know anyone, my childhood was terrible, I have health issues, I can’t afford it, I’m a CEO and it’s uncomfortable for me to ask for help…

They… won’t let me, won’t reimburse me, said I couldn’t, said so, said it’s not in the budget, said I’m too…

Do any of these phrases resonate with you?

Take a closer look at what’s impeding your progress. How real are these stories you’re selling yourself? Are they still relevant? What is the real truth?

Break them down and kick these stories you’ve sold yourself to the curb.

Uncover the truth.

One executive told me she couldn’t get advanced training because “they won’t let me.”

“What’s the real truth?” I asked her. “They won’t let me” was not the truth because, as I’d coached others at her company who had earned advanced degrees.

“I don’t have the time and they won’t reimburse me,” she said.

“How bad do you want it?” I asked. This training would benefit my client’s ultimate career goal and add leverage toward a promotion.

She thought about things for a while and said, “You’re right. I really do want it. I guess I can make the time and I can write off the training on my taxes, so I’m really not out that much.”

Bottom line, my client made the choice to earn the new designation and, through our coaching work, won a promotion and salary bump with her current employer.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Our stories, and how we believe in them, can hold us back or drive us forward.

An engineer was downsized after 20+ years. It was devastating and he was angry about the situation. Additionally, relatives told him he was too old and shouldn’t have too high of expectations in getting another management job at his age.

Through our coaching work, he decided it was best to move forward, leaving anger and resentment behind.

He was less concerned than his relatives were about his age, and the action step was to see those relatives less often, while in career search mode. His new attitude and proactive approach enabled him to dive in and learn new ways to search for a new gig. He got more comfortable with social media and made many connections on LinkedIn. He also picked up the phone and revived his network.

Result? He landed several interviews — and offers. He could choose which offer to accept. He chose a role that was not only a higher-level position and salary than before, but the new employer, a global company, offered him more opportunities for ongoing career growth.

Despite what happened to us in our past, we are still here.

We can rewrite our stories.

In “How to Rewire Your Brain for Success,” author Geoffrey James wrote, “Rather than video playback, human memory is more like video editing. When you remember something you are recreating, changing, and re-memorizing. The memory is subject to change every time you remember it.”

That means you can edit your bad memories and strengthen your good memories. You can rewrite your stories.

Two ways to start building your new stories: 1) Keep a career success journal or “Me File.” Start tracking your hits – both personal and professional. 2) Track what you are thankful and grateful for each day. Some days it might be as simple as, “I’m thankful I woke up on time today – High Five! No snooze button.” Other days it might be, “Wow! I am so grateful I got rave reviews after my Zoom presentation today!” Identify and document at least one hit/success and one grateful/thankful-for item each day. (More is better.)

Work on creating your new story, a story that reflects how you wish to be known now. You’ve got this!

——

© 2014 – 2021 Wendy Terwelp | All rights reserved. | Wendy Terwelp is the founder of Opportunity Knocks and author of Rock Your Network®. She was named one of Quintessential Careers’ Top 15 Career Masterminds and her Infoline, “Jumpstart Your Job Search and Get Hired Faster” was included in the Association for Talent Development’s “Best on Career Development” anthology. Wendy was also named in Inc. magazine’s “Top 10 Career Helps.” Are you ready for your next big gig? Want to up-level your career? Reach out to Wendy at www.knocks.com/coaching today!

A version of this article first appeared in Quintessential Career’s 2014 Job Action Day.

How to Remember Names

One of your favorite tunes just popped up on your music stream.

You’re singing along loudly. But you cannot for the life of you remember who sings that song, and it is driving you nuts.

All you’re trying to recall is a name.

The same thing can happen at networking events and when networking online. Group Zoom or breakout rooms anyone?

You remember her face, you think, but the name escapes you. And she is not wearing a name tag. Or you met through a Zoom event only this person had no video and shared only their first name on the screen. Shoot!

What s in a name? It’s the one word that’s music to your listener’s ears. If you’re great with faces but have a tough time remembering names. Here are some steps you can take to help make remembering names easier for you:

 

Introduce yourself first.

Use your first and last name. The person you re connecting with is probably having a tough time remembering your name too. Introducing yourself first will put him or her at ease.

 

Listen for, and repeat, the name.

You’ve given him your name, now it’s time to remember his. Listen for it. The reason most of us immediately forget other’s names is that we weren’t really paying attention in the first place.

For example, “Hi! I’m Wendy Terwelp, nice to meet you. And you are?”

“I’m Bob Smith, likewise,” says Bob.

Repeat the name immediately. Repeat it aloud if you are meeting someone, “Bob Smith? Great! What brings you to this event, Bob?”

Do not over-repeat. I once went to a networking event, and someone must have heard this tip. I think he said my name at least three or four times in a short amount of time.

It sounded like this, “Wendy, great to meet you Wendy. How s everything going, Wendy?”

I thought to myself, “Now that was a bit over the top.”

If you’re in a meeting where everyone is introducing themselves, repeat the name to yourself silently.

 

Anchor the name by attaching a physical action.

A firm handshake is perfect if the interaction is personal, but if you are simply listening to a round of introductions, spell out the person’s name with the forefinger of your writing hand in the palm of your other hand as you mentally repeat the name to yourself.

During meetings, I m a big note taker, so I’ll often write down people’s names if I am at a group meeting or participating in a group Zoom call or webcast. Writing the name helps me remember, plus I’ll make a note about the person, what they do (if it’s mentioned), what company they work for, and so on. This helps me reconnect with them later.

“Bob, great to see you again. How s everything going for you at ACME?”

 

Review all the names.

Mentally recall each new person during introductions. If there are more than 20 people, keep reviewing the most recent 20 people’s names as the introductions continue. If you are interacting with one person, use that person’s name several times, but don t be too obvious.

Another technique in reviewing a person’s name is to introduce that person to others.

For example, “Bob, have you met Janet? Janet, this is Bob Smith.”
 

Associate the names.

Alliteration is especially helpful for large groups or if more than one person has the same first name. Barbara in blue, Mary the mortgage broker, or Frank the financial planner can help you remember who is who.

I’ve also associated a person’s name with someone famous, “Oh Justin, like Justin Timberlake? Great to meet you.” “Ruth, like notorious RBG? Cool. Great to meet you.”

During your brief conversation you may discover interesting facts. Put this on the back of the person’s business card. For example, Mary speaks seven languages. Ramona used to be a professional juggler!

If you don’t get a business card or this is an online networking event, you can make a note on a notepad (writing helps with retention) or in your smartphone’s notepad section. You can also connect later via LinkedIn and mention what you learned in your personalized invitation to connect.

“Hi Jean, great to meet you at the BBB online networking event today! Fun to hear about your business and interest in live music concerts. Let’s connect here on LinkedIn and keep the conversation going.”

 

Follow up.

If you make promises to others during your networking event or meeting it is important to follow up promptly. If you promised to send them an article on their topic of interest, jot that down on their business card or in your notes, then do it the next day.

 

Coaching Challenge:

Time to test out your name recall techniques. Schedule your next networking event or Zoom group meeting and use the tips to ensure you remember attendees’ names for fast and easy follow up.

Share in the comments! What’s one of your best tips for remembering names?

© 1998 – 2021 Wendy Terwelp | Opportunity Knocks of Wisconsin, LLC | All rights reserved. | Excerpt from Rock Your Network®.

 

6 Tips to Create a Networking Plan that Works

Would you like to get more results when you network? Here’s how to create a networking plan that works:

1. Schedule a regular time each week to network. Without a plan, we all get busy, and suddenly, when we need it most, our network is outdated or scattered. By scheduling regular time in your calendar to network, it not only gets done, but you’ll feel more confident and comfortable in networking situations, avoid binge-watching your fave show, and meet people who want to help you propel your career. People want to help you and see you succeed.

Think about how you feel when you help others, whether it’s recommending a favorite restaurant or referring someone to your preferred service provider, like a financial advisor, lawyer, career coach, or other service.

2. Schedule 10 minutes each day to use social media. I say 10 minutes or you’ll end up down the internet rabbit hole. Determine what actions you’ll take online. Here are a few to try: status updates, relevant links that demonstrate your thought leadership, and quick emails to those who’ve updated their statuses with wins. For example, if you read your LinkedIn notifications and a friend has landed a new position or received an award, send her a brief congratulatory note.

3. Determine which offline, in-person groups you will join and how often they meet. Take an active role in the organization, such serving as the chapter ambassador. This helps you meet more people and overcome some of the jitters of being in a new group. Click here for ideas on which groups to join.

4. Set networking goals for yourself. For example, when attending a new group, set a goal to meet three new people. Three people who need to know about you based on your career or business goals. Write this goal in your calendar where you’ve scheduled the meeting.

5. Prepare and rehearse your sound bite. Networking can take place any time, any where. Be prepared.

6. Update your network regularly with the action steps you’ve taken. If a friend referred you to a contact and you set up an informational interview, let your friend know that you made the connection and got results.

You’ve got to fuel your network to fire it up! Scheduling networking activities makes your network thrive. And regular contact with those in your network will help you achieve your career goals much faster.

Want more networking tips? Check out Rock Your Network^®, the book.

Copyright 1998-2019 Wendy Terwelp | All rights reserved.

Wendy Terwelp, author of Rock Your Network®, writes, speaks, and coaches on career management, networking, social media, and personal branding. Need a speaker for your association, company or private coaching to rock your career? Let’s talk!

How to Use Social Media to Boost Your Personal Brand

Personal branding on social media can feel overwhelming for some professionals and consultants. Maybe you’ve struggled with it, too.

You want to be warm and approachable, but you don’t want to overshare. You want to be professional and polished, but you don’t want to be thought of as the boring guest at the cocktail party.

Decide How You Want to be Known

The first thing to do when using social media to uplevel your personal brand is to decide how you want to be known.

Pick one to three subjects you’d like to focus on, so you become THE Expert in those subject areas. And they should be things you’re excited about because you’ll be sharing and writing about these topics for some time in order to become known as a Subject Matter Expert.

Choose Your Networks

You can have a profile on every social network if you want. But most professionals and consultants find their clients and cohorts stick to one or two social networks, depending on their industry or profession. If you’re in the training and development field, you’ll find Twitter and LinkedIn are traction builders. For someone in leadership at a design firm, you might find Facebook and Instagram are where your best clients hang out.

If you’re in a tech-related field, you might notice your community prefers Reddit instead. Don’t stress about this. Simply pick the two social networks where you get the most traction. These two social networks are ones to update daily.

Keep Your Social Media Profiles Consistent

Review your profiles on all your social media channels. Would someone who’s not familiar with your brand be able to tell you’re the same person? If not, it’s time to align your social media accounts. You’ll want to use the same profile picture, bio, and header image across all your social platforms. This makes it easy for visitors to recognize your brand, regardless of the social network they’re using.

Post Frequently

Maintain an active profile on the most popular social networks in your industry – and your target audience, those people who need to know about you. Some networks are better for posting multiple times a day (like Twitter), while for others posting only 2-3 times a day (or a week) works better. This is another reason you want to choose only one to three platforms; activity helps you gain traction with your target audience. And you want to be able to effectively manage the social media channels you choose.

A dormant account can negatively impact your online brand.

To determine the best posting frequency, run a few short experiments. This will help you discover how frequently you should post and what times work best for your followers.

If you’re not sure what to post, follow the 4 out of 5 rule. This rule means posting 4 pieces of content that are useful to your audience for every 1 piece of promotional content. Don’t be afraid to promote great content to your followers, even if you didn’t write it. When you’re the one that shares the latest news in your industry, followers will view you as the go-to source on trends and news in your industry. Curating great content counts.

Join Communities

Once you gain some traction on social media with your personal brand, look for communities of like-minded professionals or your ideal client tribe. Facebook and LinkedIn have groups. Twitter has lists and chats, like #lrnchat for learning pros and #TwitterSmarter and #SocialROI for social media fans. But they all mean pretty much the same thing – they’re an online gathering of people around one central subject, whether that subject is learning and development, social media, HR, healthcare, etc.

The great thing about groups is that they give you a chance to form connections with other members and give them value. It’s also an easy way to do customer research and create your own professional learning network. You can discover what questions your audience frequently asks, what they struggle with, and what they would love to know more about.

Using social media to brand yourself and enhance your online reputation is a smart idea. Just remember to post and share valuable content that benefits your target audience.

Wendy Terwelp is an award-winning career expert and personal branding strategist who works with high-performing leaders and organizations who want to advance careers, rock networks, and up-level their brands online and off. Click the link to get your free personal brand self-assessment.

© Wendy Terwelp / www.knocks.com / All rights reserved. / Updated 2023.

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